Once upon a time I was
alive alive alive alive

Once upon a time I was
alive alive alive

Then the mirror came
in the morning
and the mirror did not look like me

Gravity
struck from the clouds
I held my hands
to my temples

There was
tension
in the air

Between the living and the dead
naked in bed
together apart
alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone

Watching the fish in its tank
killing the fish in its tank
I was a fish in a tank

Throwing up gin on the curb in Pittsburgh
the Christmas lights reflecting idiocy
of the family romance
No, mother
no—
don’t go

I made the bed
and kissed your head

And frankly, it’s never enough
I tattoo this lack on my wrist
to signify my fear
of separateness

But I stand on my feet
am a person who
loves you
more than you
love me

Too
and it’s pathetic
how awestruck I get
remembering the grass

It meant nothing
The flowers, dying
The world’s at an impasse

"Don't be a fuck-up
now," I say to you
telepathically

You rub my soul
the right way

I was a turtle in her shell
I was hiding
away, I'm scared
of the in-between spaces

And the ring on the dresser
is open
in a box
Its diamonds catch the light

I think of holding your hand
The diamonds pressing into your hand

Then I took a picture
there was no film in the camera
so I didn’t capture it
because you can't capture it

You can’t capture someone
you can’t hold somebody down
you can’t hold somebody down
you can’t cage
a person nor
a bird nor
a sentiment nor
a feeling

Love passes